Category: writings


the wind blows away the autumn leaves that crunch beneath my feet and the rains reduce them to refuse lying in the detritus at the end of the street in the dark of the night when the candles burn to wax on the window panes I see your reflection replace mine a part of you […]

via A Place Not Home… — The Musing Quill

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Everyone at any point of given time have an idol. An image to inspire and motivate him/her to be someone better, stronger, or rather to be something in life and that’s good for a fact. Though its strange how obnoxiously ignoring we can be when it comes to these people we admire and look up to. We might think that there is nothing or no one better than they are but is it true ? or are we just closing our eyes by our own choice towards the fact that there exist nothing like that(human nature lol).

Dreams

Dreams (Photo credit: hufse)

For a long time i knew a man who was, and is still my idol, but things started to change lately. I got a wonderful opportunity to be with him for certain time period. Up close to him was my dream but during that period I realized many a things and and many of my believes were shattered. Naive and immature for me he was the perfect man strong, intelligent, compassionate, a perfect picture of freedom and intelect. But things change when you observe things closely and when you have an addiction of putting people under a microscope things can turn out to be pretty repulsive.

The cracks in the personality and character might not be known to you. Nobody is good as perfect its just the way we imagine them the streak of insanity or the cliche is always there.

it’s true you actually want to know a person then you have to live with them. Cause the truth remains the same when you look and observe a person you are actually learning about the personality they “want” you to know and learn about. Yes, its like if you actually see how they keep the delicious chicken you just had at KFC you might not want to have it again.

For a person who calls himself introvert and independent from mortgage of emotion, claiming salvation inside the fort of self-indulgence, keeping his eye tight shut, I seem to be carrying too much baggage. On an instance talking to a f(r)iend I realized that I might to be to obtuse and helplessly been trying to differ from world, where i am nothing different from any other constructive piece of it.

Being assertive and still exploring the unresolved concepts of life, freedom, love, hope and all, I have cataloged life in many chapters and under the index biggest volume is of constantly changing definitions of human concept in different circumstances. But then talking to my f(r)iend Angie I realized for both of us that part of index is quite similar or rather i feel for most of us are. What changes is not the definition but our own personal interpretation of the circumstance and the word we choose to define things under different obligations at the moment.

 

 

 

I tried to formulate a different prospective to withdraw my mind and tried to define things on my own at that time defining love with her by different means but i was actually pretty distracted remembering the incident we both shared though circumstantially different………………….   

Time seem to have stopped for a minute and that minute seemed as eternity. The mind seems to have entered some un-constructed multidimensional dream space and the life so light like a thought with its own wings floating around like a leaf on a stream of time. And time seem to have stopped for him/her in his/her arms.

Time seem to have stopped for a minute it seemed that the minute will last for eternity. Though he/she walked away from the place but his/her soul was torn apart and a part of it was left there in that moment forever. Trapped under the solemn silence of his/her, screaming in his/her ears deafening bolted to ground forever.

Redefining the time, life, love, hate, freedom circumstantially.

Trundholm Sun Chariot

Trundholm Sun Chariot

As the night gives way to the golden chariot of the sun redundantly pulled by the restless and impatient beasts and the first smooth and silken ray of sunlight rushes to touch down earth doorsteps like a lost kid running back home I look upon the mesmerizing morning inspiring me with new thoughts and ideas. Inflaming my soul and heart to get going once again in search of something new and experiment with my own life to invent something new or discover some old secret lost in the tides of time change……………………..

It’s en-thrilling and I an enthusiastic filled with the energy am ready to interact and introduce myself to the world but what i also need to be is cautious at the same time. Cause what have I learnt in the run so far is that in any field of life the experience you gain is based upon how you experiment with the world around you and the experiment, must be carried out on your own expense, so keep in mind how you market(sell) yourself. Cause the one question you will always ask yourself at the end would be, was it worth it.

In this world everything is gonna cost you beside advice(even that is hard to come by today) is gonna cost you somehow or the other but it is you who gonna decide what do you wanna put at stake your heart, moral, freedom, thought, expression, ego what and how much is up to you. Experimentation may even be a damaging process leaving its own dents and bends on your soul and personality, it may even help you gain strength and polish you up like a old piece of mahogany, admired and inspiring to others but the process in its own is of personal and individual choice.

The world is open to all to experience and learn from like the night. Where some prefer to sit under the pleasant moonlight drenching their soul admiring the nature and filling their own cups of thirst with different passion under the cloak of night keeping their own little vices to themselves, while other prefer to tend to their body and mind relaxing and preparing for another day. The experiment is your own and how to carry it out is your own decision but one thing to be realized that the resource to carry it out(that is you) finite and expandable and like any other resource it has price tag and the determining factor is you how do you value yourself, is it too high, or too low.

A bonsai is in itself an art and an leading experiment and the person working on it, is in itself a leading scientist. Learning from constant experimentation and observation clipping and shaping the plant he tries to evaluate different concept and through-out the life term of the plant keeps on shaping it accordingly just like we do ourselves, our soul, personality, our identity through rigorous means of experimentation with this world and the people in it.

So its time for us to realize what we want to experiance from this vast catalog the universe have laid before us and to what extend are we ready to experiment with it and what cost does we determine of ourselves cause certainly nobody would want to sell themselves short.

So remember to gain experience any experiment carried out is on our own expense try to market yourself well.

Experiments with Long exposure and lights-015

Experiments with Long exposure and lights

Experiments with Long exposure  and lights-033

Experiments with Long exposure and lights

Smoking Aces

Under the warm afternoon sun and wind blowing with just enough chill to get your hair standing on there ends i did it again. Yes i did score some and smoked to enter another world of nirvana where i was once again a being with selflessness conscious. A different kind of enthusium and clarity of a dewdrop. Somewhere i was deep down within myself and was what i was and not what i portray, happy and content like a kid, chasing a kite of my thoughts and indulgence i was once again part of the universe i have been ignoring for so long. Sitting stoned with the curiosity of a kid listening to the marvelous stories the world was hiding before from me in detest for long i have strayed from the path of being “HUMAN” to be a “MAN”.

sitting alone at the edge of the river i was taken aback by the staggering strength and patience of it and the love of earth which has for ages been enduring constant devouring mood swing of it like faithful lover. The river running wild and fast in its own mind cutting through and making way anyhow may have never understood the silent love of the earth under it which has been withholding it in its bosom since the beginning (you may love someone very much but the love of a parent if you have for someone it can’t be matched) its something like Rabindranath Tagore said “I may be your lover but i love you like a daughter”.

While i was trying to rediscover and remember the universal language inherited to me long before i taught to read and write symbols of this abysmal race i was raced into another thought about validation and preemptive tries of human being to bind this universe into a stagnant and relative measures of time…………lol. Bother explaining me how does this quantity of ours does have any definite effect upon the things around us. A black hole, a supernova, earth, glaciers, nature or any other blessed thing in this world might not find the concept even a little bit entertaining for them the life is ever-going and what matters is the constant change which comes and learning, observing and LIVING through it so as to be one forever and ever “”AND HERE WE ARE TRYING TO STAMP THIS WORLD TRYING TO LEAVE FEAT-LESS PRINTS IN THE SHADOW OF A QUANTITY WHICH MATTERS TO NONE OTHER—TIME””. 

Realization(part -I)

Human being is a social animal throughout his/her life searching for the comfort and companionship of someone.

In short a stupid idiotic creature with such inconsistant mental stability that “IT” can never come to the truce with the fact that living alone may be a probability and instead of understanding and realizing it “IT” is in a constant search of consolation by others. Its pethetic that even after being the smartest organisms we tend to fall victims to such fractured conceptions as “THE ONE” “TRUE LOVE” “SOUL MATE” god give me a break. Most relationship i have seen or been in have just taught me one thing that capitalizing on such formulations is just our tendency because one thing we are afraid of and that is “BEING ALONE”. Throughout human history the only thing we have fought most viciously and damned this blessed planet with war is to be “FREE FROM ANY BOUNDATIONS”. One thing the human civilization is most based on is its urge to be free from bonds exploring its caliber and potential to just go on one more mile …………..

Nobody in today’s world want to be bound and tied down yet when the time comes to be alone we again have this immense need to find someone to just to surrender ourself to. What are we actually afraid of or are we actually just a bunch of pseudo intellectuals talking loud extending some meaningless manufactured thoughts of independence and freedom, self realization, spiritual and human evolution. Setting up a stupid bar code for ourself bounding us and declaring this is the perimeter of freedom, which is actually nothing but just an ethopia or a mirage kept at a safe distance to satisfy and control us. Is it just a illusion being utilized as cluthes for we are just to weak to walk on our own.

The simple question is how you decide what is it ? Just your need, your tendency, dependency, or what else………………for sometime someone is the world for you and one morning you just wake up to realize this is actually not what i wanted. What do we actually want………to be free or is it just another excuse to come at terms with our pathetic sense of self adventure to try and find someone else to but our self before.Image

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