Tag Archive: PEOPLE

Today I stand naked

I never thought this day would come and I would write this post. Many of my friends look up at me and tell me how i am so strong and patient in my ways, thoughtful and many a times inspiring in the times when they are low and vulnerable. I am a kid who would always stand up and put a smile for you but today I have had enough. Damaged beyond the extend of repair, in this life of 23 years, what have i not seen. sometimes I feel like my mind will just burst and sometimes I want it to so that at-last this suffering may come to an end. Tears in my eyes have dried up and now even if I feel like crying………….a strange numbness takes over my body and my mind screams in silence, and it echos just keep haunting my soul, with a strange acute pain in my chest of my broken heart as I struggle to breathe in from the vacuum as the air disappear. But still I am standing there and I smile :)

I am accounted to be a friend and a shoulder by many but where is mine friend and shoulder. Surely i miss them.

I remember last time I broke down was in one of my friends arms sitting there against her bed we were having some nice time and a wee bit drunk I broke down because of some of her words. Almost two-year back that was when I cried last time. I guess I could tell her how special she is and what place does she hold in my life how precious she is but I a dumb ass can preach to love but actually I myself can’t. Its right what they say those who cant teach lol. 

You now what today I am may be sad, depressed and maybe this be the lowest point of my life but I feel like laughing at myself. Why ? Cause I am so full of crap that I prefer to sit alone and laugh at myself and my condition instead of talking to a friend, that’s the size of my ego. Its true “Big ego is a shield for loads of empty spaces” and what I am is hollow from within, a man with an empty soul, so shallow. Today for certain reason I had to go off grid that means delete all virtual footprints of my real identity and soon I would leave the place I am today for some place else, actually starting another life, leaving everything behind. This might be my only relation to what I am, or rather, what I was and I don’t want to let it go.


I have no words and even if I do I don’t want to put anything more out. REALIZATION PART-II…………… Clutches do not need clutches to walk lol I might just die alone someday without anyone knowing :P

Amazing tea


Just a few days back i read a blog and the question was “WHAT HAS THE WORLD SHOWN ME ?”.  Well an intriging thought at first which suddenly took hold of me. An idea which just stuck to me like the chewing gum on my boot last monday and mind you it was a hell of a job getting it off, cause as i walked dragging my shoes on the tarmac people looked at me funny, was i being funny, has it ever happened to you ? I mean one moment walking minding your own business and then suddenly taken over by an obsession about something you never thought about.

An interesting match

Falling feet

Anyways getting back to the world thing, so, for a while i was obsessed with the idea of it wherever i was, in my class, my room even in the party when i was talking to a sweet girl named Shubha and i was thinking about it. Later that night when i was looking at the pictures of a recent weekend trip i realized that the answer was actually not that simple, in-fact, the question itself was something objective which we could answer with any possibility of answers we want.

Travelling to places few ever have had thought of going to enjoy, i have learnt that it is what you choose to see matters, cause for a person a bull standing infront of him is a dog if he wants to see it that way, its his own choice to the question the unvirse have laid infront of us that what do you actually want to see.

What i have seen is the beautiful clarity in the eyes of a mother last night sitting with her child on a road side. What i have seen is human heart filled with the innocence of a rose petal travelling on the stream in moonlight. I have seen the passion of a man and his love for his family, for whom he works tirelessly but still come home smiling to his children.

Another thing is that what you wanna see also changes with the time. I was up in the Himalayas going around the mountains in search of some new unseen villages to stop by and live in, doing some research before backpacking to leh- ladhak, and i was marveled by the beauty and serenity of the world and the loving nature of the people around away from what we call luxury in the lap of nature so simple is their life. Even after living in not some of the most “equipped” environment they have found the happiness and maturity we actually talk about having being the evolved species of this planet. For what they choose to see is life as it is “precious and profound in experience”. Accepting and welcoming every new thing with much entusiasm in their lives.

beautiful structure

The cow house lolz

Between playing football, falling down on slopes and sharing black chai(Tea) i was amazed to learn that children over there walk miles to go around the hill to get to school. What the world have shown me strength and determination to do things which are to be done. I learnt that its never to far if you want to get there.

I was not only amazed by the children there, the women,………….i must say they have nerves of steal. Everyday they walk uphill miles along with their young ones on their back or in arms to get water and wood and the best part is they know hell lot about the plants and shrubs there maybe more than a botanist there i saw curiosity of a human mind and with the brilliance hey have made their homes water and snow proof it was unbelievable.

In this world it is not the human being alone which is fascinating but when you look around and listen there are many more things to be heard from and learn. The man may have made it big into the cities gathering around all he ever wanted to have surrounding himself with ever so new comfort of life inventing things for his pleasure and indulgence forgetting to discover the real marvel

of life, the nature in itself. The greatest architect and designer in the universe ever shaping this world into something new and phenomenal and when we look at them what can we do but just gawp in awe.

termite mud hill

man they were high

The ant hill reminded me of the human race working consistently working on itself and its surrounding without bothering about anything else happening around shaping its own world and universe withdrawn from the nature detesting to see the miracle of life and the beauty around it. I don’t say what they have isn’t beautiful its marvelous but what is ti in comparison to the mystique around it ?

What they have shown me is the relentlessness of ours to look around and appreciate things for what they are in our own streak of insanity to developing and being perfect.

Neer waterfalls one of the twelve


What i have chosen to see in this world is that there is no room for perfect, there exist no such thing as perfect, and the beauty actually lies in arbitrary nature of life. Ever so beautiful like the constant flowing water nourishing us giving us a chance to get a hold on to yourself and be something different from the other forms walking this planet. Washing our souls baptizing us to be pure and open to the ourselves to the love and beauty of the nature around us. What i chose to see magnificence and majestic of the mountains and the endurance of people around us.


Monstrous but a gentel animal

Bhutia dog

step farms

Step Farms

%d bloggers like this: